i need to find myself again.

my favorite topic: love.

its been about a couple months since i ended a chapter in my life and began a new chapter. i've been busy living my life and starting to do the things that i love again. I've learned to appreciate the moments where i can just sit at home and catch up on things i need to do without worrying the other person. did they eat yet? are they hungry? did anything bad happen at work? is he having a good day? you start to realize that you don't have to worry about saying the wrong things to them or making stupid little mistakes to upset them...on top of the other stressful things you have to do. one less present you have to buy for a christmas. one less person to wish happy birthday. one negative thing is: feeling lonely at times and wishing you had that significant other with you. having someone to come home to after a rough day is the best feeling ever. and i miss that. it's okay though. i guess as time passes and as i concentrate on my self instead of someone else, the next man to come across me will be a million times better than the past, cus of the time i waited for them and learned so much from the past.

i always believed in love. but honestly, love doesnt change. the people that are involved in it do. of course, i can be a bitter person towards love, cus it fucked me over big time. of course, after everything came to an end, i felt like my world was broken into pieces. of course, i stopped believing in love. but in the end, the only person you should blame is the person you fell in love with turned out to be a nonbeliever in love. don't blame love.

i think my emotions are starting to run dry now. i want to fall in love again, but i don't think i have any more emotions left to anymore...i'm all drained out now. well, for now.

don't get me wrong though, i appreciate every single moment of my life and the people that actually DO love me back. the bond that i have with my family and i have never been stronger. i have a good amount of close friends and one bestfriend that i love with all my heart. i couldn't ask for more or be any happier. i'll be graduating soon and i've been continuing to meet more and more talented and inspiring people. i've got an opportunity to be interning in new york soon for something that i truly, truly love. but there's just one thing missing.. i don't know what it is yet. maybe it's love, maybe it's just finding myself once again.